Thursday, February 9, 2012

Treasures from the Closet

I think most women do this: you have a favorite outfit or a few pieces of clothing that you just can't bear to get rid of even if they no longer fit. They hang in your closet (or live in a box) until that unspecified time at which you might be able to wear it again. Never mind if it has shoulder pads worthy of a linebacker that went out of style in 1987 - it was something you absolutely loved.

I have a few of those gems still. Clothes that survived multiple moves, Hurricane Charley, and my two-car-load escape from my previous marriage. The first item that I could potentially wear again is a spring dress. It's a black cotton princess-seamed button-front dress, with tiny little red and pink roses on it - almost giving a polka-dot effect. I distinctly remember wearing it when I weighed 265 - a time when a man I was dating came to visit me where I was living in Pacific Grove, CA.

I'm struggling with two major things right now: my perception of myself, and the realization that coming back down through some of these numbers isn't quite the same as being at them on the way up - I've got bigger, wobblier arms than I did back then, and while it's shrinking, I still have a belly that's deflating, rather than completely disappearing.

So what does this have to do with clothes? Quite simply, I'm scared. I want to dig that dress out of the box it's sitting in at the bottom of my office closet, give it a fresh wash, and look absolutely smashing in it. I'm quite fearful that I'll try and put it on, and my arms will look like sausages in the short sleeves, an my belly will stick out weirdly instead of having the fabric flow nicely over it, and the whole thing will make me cry instead of being a happy celebration of wearing a favorite pretty outfit.

So far I keep staring at the closet, but haven't worked up the courage to even open the door.

1 comment:

  1. If you truly love a garment and don't want to part with it, pay to have it professionally altered. I did this a week ago with about 2 dozen skirts (one leather), a suit, and two pairs of pants. The cost for having the bulk of it done all at once was a bit of a shocker, but piecemeal an item here or there would be much more financially feasible. However much I spent for the bulk, doesn't come close to: 1. The cost of replacing essentially an entire wardrobe; and 2. The frustration of not being able to find exact duplicates of the garments I love.

    Furthermore, if I find something I truly love and it doesn't fit quite right, perhaps a size too big, or it's the right size but a bit binding in one spot, I get it professionally altered.

    I tend to wear the hell out of my clothing. Some garments I had (before my surgery) for 10+ years, things that are wardrobe staples. So things like jeans or khakis? I replace; things like my beloved Elisabeth plaid wrap skirt? I have professionally altered.