Tuesday, March 26, 2013

On Fat Acceptance and Denial of Risk



Since coming to my decision to have weight loss surgery, I’ve also been painfully aware of what I say or how I express my opinions about weight related matters. The last thing anyone wants to turn into is “that person” who finds a new mantra and is suddenly the world’s foremost expert and evangelizer for their newfound life choices. I fully admit that WLS is not for everyone, and even if it would be a good solution for an individual – it’s not the right solution for them until they are in the appropriate mental headspace for it. Sometimes that point can be reached with a short period of education, or it may take months or years to work through the denial and finally acceptance that has to come with it. 

Now – deep breath – that all said: sometimes the answer to health problems really is “you need to lose some weight”. Unfortunately that’s not a statement that many people want to hear. Even more unfortunately, it’s a statement that a growing portion of the population is rejecting out of hand as “sizism” or “fat shaming” on the part of the public and even the medical community. Weekly I hear tales of people refusing to follow sound medical advice if any portion of that discussion has included the phrase “if you lost some weight…”. 

Before anyone picks up the pitchforks – or for those already armed, before you start swinging them at me – I fully recognize and acknowledge that some members of the medical community either over-focus on weight or have poor enough patient communication skills that their valid points get lost in the talk about weight management. They are out there. They are not, however, every medical practitioner out there, nor I would say, even the majority of medical practitioners. 

I’ll go ahead and put it out there that I think the root of many of these reactions from heavier patients can be found in the loosely defined “fat acceptance” (FA) movement. The idea has been around for decades – that no one should be discriminated against based on their size. Oh baby, am I all for that idea. I was no less mentally capable or intelligent or less skilled in my work when I (barely) wore a size 28 than I am today in a size 12. Luckily my current profession doesn’t require significant physical abilities – as long as I can sit at a desk and work on a computer 40 hours a week, whether I can do push-ups, lift 50 pounds, or run 100 yards in a sprint is pretty irrelevant. 

Where FA falls down in my opinion, is when it moves beyond the idea of non-discrimination, and that people of any size should be able to feel good about themselves and comfortable in their own skins, into activism or dogma that promotes the idea that fat is healthy. No. No, it’s not.
"Fat as healthy" activists claim that an individual can be both “metabolically healthy” and fat.  Metabolically healthy is defined as having standard measures of blood work and screenings for high blood pressure, diabetes, and other diseases often associated with obesity coming back “normal”. It can happen. In fact, I used to be one of those people. I consistently had blood pressure of 110/70, no indication of diabetes or insulin resistance, and had lung capacity that was better than many people who did physical work for a living – and I weight 250-300 pounds. 

Where the idea of  “metabolically healthy and fat” starts to fall apart is that it only looks at that one snapshot of time, with no acknowledgement of risk factors – obesity related or not. The proven facts are that being obese increases a person’s chances of developing heart disease, diabetes, and other life-shortening illnesses considerably. The scientific literature is pretty damned sound on this point.
Now nothing in this says that “normal” weight or “skinny” people don’t have risk factors for heart disease, or that only obese people get diabetes. I’m not arguing that in any way. But the risk factors are consistently higher when you are obese. 

Beyond metabolic issues is the wear and tear that obesity takes out on your body. Despite being athletic before gaining weight, and being able to do quite a few things with great cardiac response at my current weight (I just passed a stress EKG with flying colors), I was diagnosed with pretty significant osteo-arthritis in my knee after an injury just before New Year’s. It’s clearly been building over time per the orthopedist, and at this point can only be managed – there’s no reversing arthritis. I’m not unduly restricted in what activities I can participate in, but I was encouraged not to try and run a 5K, instead walk it and choose activities that aren’t super-high-impact in nature. 

So what’s my point? Be happy in who you are. Accepting yourself, your body, your looks for what they are is a good thing. But please don’t confuse self-acceptance with denial of the clear and real risks that obesity brings with it. You’ll not be doing your self – or your self-esteem – any favors.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Mental Challenges

This last week or so has been a real mental challenge for me. I'm in a bit of a rut as far as weight loss goes - and there's probably three or four real reasons for that.

 First, of course, was surgery a week ago - really, it was only a week ago and I have to remind myself of that. Despite that hopefully being the last round of ass surgery, it will take some time for the incision she made to heal - so it's not unexpected that exercise will continue to aggravate it. Add the New Year's Knee Incident in, and exercise has been extra complicated.

Next, it's been fucking cold here this week, as in barely above freezing at all cold. Some of you in more northern climates might laugh at that, but for North Carolina, it's cold. Add that to carrying around 160+ pounds less than I used to, and it's cold! I've never worn layers in my life - I went to my WLS support group meeting on Thursday night wearing a long sleeved tee, a hand knit sweater, my suede jacket, a hand-knit cowl and hand-knit gloves. And I was still cold! Add to that, the cold tends to make me want hearty, warm, comfort food - which tends to be calorie dense.

I've been struggling a bit with brain cravings, or what I sometimes call "the nibbles". I think some of it at times is boredom, other times it may be putting off breakfast a little too long, and then the "need fuel!" signal doesn't seem to get turned off as it should. I love nuts and things like pumpkins seeds or sunflower seeds, but again - calorie dense, so I need to find alternatives that will give me the satisfaction of a snack without making my daily totals go crazy.

And finally, I've been in a bit of an emotional funk. After the news that the ass surgeries should be over, I can now make the appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist to see what testing he needs to do, if there's any hope of doing IVF on our own, or if we'll need to go to donor eggs. If we need to go the donor route, the expense goes up astronomically, as any donor costs are not covered by insurance. We'll have to weigh chances of success against the cost, a decision that will undoubtedly painful. On top of that, a dear friend's 20-year old daughter just had a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately her life is a bit of a shambles right now, and the baby daddy is...well...not exactly a parental dream. I hope mother and child succeed, but there's quite a few roadblocks in their way, and it honestly breaks my heart for all involved.

So with all those things in mind, I'm trying to work through whether or not I've actually hit a real "stall" point in my loss. Mentally, I know I just want the loss segment to be over-  I'm so close, roughly 25 pounds to my stated goal, and maybe 15 more with plastic surgery and a smidge more loss, but 25 for now. That's really nothing, in the grand scheme of things, since I'm down 164, but it feels like a mountain right now.

I know I need to buckle down, get as much exercise I can with the limitations I have, make sure I'm maintaining 850-900 calories, and things will happen.

But....ugh.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

What's For Dinner? Cheesy Chicken Corn Chowder

I was never this cold when I was fat! It stayed below freezing most of the day today, and the house was just cold, even though I had the heat set to 72, and a space heater going in my office. Until I went downstairs to the treadmill at lunch, I was huddled in a shirt and a cardigan sweater - something I'd never have worn in the past, but I was that cold! You don't really think about body heat too much when you're heavy, but it really did make a difference!

In deference to the weather, tonight I wanted soup and decided chicken corn chowder sounded good. I wanted to keep it relatively light, so I'd use broth and milk instead of cream, and I do believe this version was a success.


My Meals

Breakfast
  •  1 cup Kashi Go Lean! cereal
  • 1/3 cup whole milk
Lunch
  •  1 Trader Joe's Chicken Tikka Masala with Cumin Rice
  • 10 almonds
Dinner
Exercise
  •  45 minutes treadmill - 3.2 mph, 2% incline, 200 calories burned
Water - 72 oz

Daily Totals - 977 calories, 43.3g fat, 105g carbohydrates, 24.1g sugars, 53.5g protein

Cheesy Chicken Corn Chowder

This chowder uses a mix of broth and milk as it's base - lightening it up compared to some traditional cream or half and half based chowders.  Note that ore-shredded cheeses tend to be packed with corn starch or other additives that prevent sticking and clumping, which may result in some separation when added to hot liquids. I recommend shredding your own cheese for this dish.



  • 4 oz cooked and diced boneless skinless chicken breast
  • 1 cup yellow corn
  • 1.5 cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 2 cups milk
  • 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 2 slices bacon
  • 1 small to medium onion,chopped
  • 1 large carrot, diced
  • 1 large red potato, diced (about 8 oz)
  • 1/2 small red bell pepper, diced
  • 3/4 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp black pepper
  • 1 tbsp fresh minced thyme
Slice bacon into 1 inch pieces and render in heavy bottom sauce pan. When browned, remove to drain on paper towels. Discard all but 1 to 2 tsp fat. Saute onion in bacon fat until translucent. Add carrot, potato, and chicken broth. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes until vegetables are soft. 

Add milk, salt, and pepper. Bring to a simmer (but do not boil). Add thyme and bell pepper. Stir in cheese until melted. Sprinkle reserved bacon over soup when served.

Nutritional information (1/6 recipe) - 221 calories, 9.4g fat, 19.5g carbohydrates, 7.1g sugars, 15.7g protein


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What's For Dinner? Pork Tenderloin with Pomegranate Red Wine Sauce

First day back at work post-op and it went pretty well - no Vicodin during the day today, so that's good. I've got multiple meetings tomorrow morning, an interview for an internal job posting tomorrow afternoon, and I'm hoping that goes well.

I was browsing around for a recipe to use with the piece of pork tenderloin I took out of the freezer yesterday, concentrating mostly on something with red wine and ran across a lamb recipe with a pomegranate red wine sauce (which I will make as written at some point).

I decided to adapt it to my pork and was pleased with the results. The fun part was making pomegranate molasses. You can purchase this as a prepared food item from middle eastern grocers or online, but the lamb recipe author had a quick substitute available - so I did that, as detailed in the recipe. Be careful though, I went from a simmering and reducing liquid to a bubbling syrup in about 30 seconds - so you need to watch it at the end.

As happens some times, I got chatting with the Man and realized I was eating too fast - things still complain if I don't chew thoroughly, or swallow too fast - and I did it to myself tonight. I ate about half of what is shown on my plate (which was 3 oz of pork, 1/3 cup of rice and 1/3 cup of peas). Some day I'll learn!

Today was also the first day of any exercise post-op, it was pretty light - the Man wanted to show me the XBox Kinect Star Wars game, so I went through some of the tutorial stages of that (lots of lunges with arm swings), and then made him do some planks with me, and did my upper arm workout with the weights. My knee is still bothering me a bit, but I'm going to give it at least another week before setting an appointment with the ortho clinic. 



My Meals

Breakfast
  • 1 cup Kashi Go Lean! cereal
  • 1/3 cup milk
Lunch
  • Approx 1/2 cup left over lasagna
  • 1.5 cups romaine, 2 radishes, 1/4 cup corn, 2 tbsp Ken's Lite Options Honey French Dressing
  • 2 small slices garlic toast
Dinner
Exercise
  • 186 calories burned between Xbox Kinect, planks, and upper body weight work
Water
  • 48 oz
Daily Totals - 1110 calories, 38g fat, 141g carbohydrates, 36.5g sugars, 61.7g protein

Definitely could have done without the bread!


Pork Tenderloin with Pomegranate Red Wine Sauce

Adapted from a lamb recipe over on the Closet Cook , this was a quick dinner full of flavor. Make the molasses ahead of time and keep left overs in a pint canning jar.



  • 6 oz pork tenderloin, trimmed of any excess fat, flattened into medallions
  • 2 tsp olive oil
  • 1/2 cup red wine (I used cabernet sauvignon)
  • 1/4 cup low sodium chicken stock
  • 1 tbsp pomegranate molasses ** 
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 1 tsp chopped fresh chives
Heat oil in skillet until it begins to shimmer. Sprinkle pork medallions with salt and pepper on both sides, then add to pan - saute for 3-4 minutes per side until cooked through. Remove to plate and keep warm.

Deglaze pan with wine, then add stock, molasses, honey, and vinegar then whisk to combine. Add butter 1 tbsp at a time, whisking to incorporate. Simmer for 8-10 minutes until sauce thickens. Serve sauce over pork, top with chives. 


** To make pomegranate molasses: In thick-bottomed sauce pan combine 2 cups pure pomegranate juice, 1/4 cup granulated sugar, and 1 tbsp lemon juice. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 40-45 minutes, whisking occasionally. Watch mixture carefully from about 35 minutes on, as mixture will turn from simmering liquid to bubbling syrup quite suddenly. Transfer to pint canning jar to cool.

 Nutritional information (based on 3oz pork and 1/4 sauce recipe): 249 calories, 9.9g fat, 10.6g carbohydrates, 9.6g sugars, 26.6g protein

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Recovery and Long Weekends

It's strange, sometimes it seems like the simpler a procedure is, the longer my recovery takes. As I posted about Ass Surgery Round Four - I only had sedation instead of full general anesthesia. I don't have a rubber band ring hanging out of my butt, yet I've been parked on the recliner for two days keeping the Vicodin dose going full strength. Granted, she did cut open part of the fistula, and we were told I could be bleeding for a few days, but I wasn't expecting to need as much as I have.

That said, it's given me some time to try and focus on my first week's school assignments - neoclassic growth models in macro economics, and a review of single-equation linear regression for econometrics. That's fun when doped up, let me tell you.

I did manage to make dinner tonight, and was hoping to present a recipe for a bariatric friendly corn pudding, but I wasn't entirely thrilled with the result - a bit less corn meal, a bit more salt, and probably an added herb or two. I'll work on developing the recipe a bit more before presenting it to you.

Thankfully, as the evil banker that I am, I have tomorrow off for the Martin Luther King holiday. I'll be making good use of the day for additional recuperation. Hopefully that will also include a good dinner - I've got a pork tenderloin down from the freezer, so as long as I feel up to cooking, I'm hoping to have a yummy meal at the end of the day.

How was your weekend?