What's For Lunch? Mini Tuna Melts

Today's food choices don't bring anything new, though having 2 "seafood" meals in one day is a record for me. One of my favorite things years ago was the tuna melt sandwich at Toastie's Cafe in Pacific Grove, CA. I'd frequently go there for a meal after my midnight shift at 911 and if I didn't order breakfast, I'd get the tuna melt. Amazing sourdough bread, just the right amount of mayo moisture in the tuna, a good sharp cheddar, and sometimes with a nice ripe tomato slice. It was heaven.

Post-op I can't have a full sandwich, and un-toasted bread is even harder. So I started making miniature tuna melts on some multigrain cracker chips. I use chunk albacore tuna (water pack) in a 5 oz can, 2 tsp light mayonaisse, between .5 and 1 oz sharp cheddar, and the chips are Wheat Thins Toasted Chips - Multigrain. The eat more like a cracker than a "chip" - and are pretty reasonable in the nutritional information - baked, so they're not greasy. Half the tuna mixture will fit on 5 or 6 chips. Pop them under the broiler for about 2 minutes until the cheese gets bubbly, and I have a pretty good substitute for my old favorite sandwich.

They don't look quite so neon orange as they do in this picture, but they're quite yummy!

I did discover, much to my amusement this evening, that my youngest kitten likes the sauce on my Shrimp with Cashews. He licked my leftovers clean! Left the shrimp, but enjoyed the sauce. Silly kitties.

My meals: 

Breakfast

• 3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean! cereal
• 1/3 cup whole milk

Lunch

• Mini tuna melts
• 1 cup romaine lettuce, 2 radishes, a sprinkle of pepitas, 1 tbsp Ken's Lite Ranch dressing

Snack

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt

Dinner

• .8 serving  Shrimp with Cashews
• 2 tbsp hoisin sauce

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek yogurt bar - raspberry

Water - 64 oz

 Exercise - Biggest Loser PowerSculpt Level 2 - 40 minutes, 227 calories burned

Daily Totals: 896 calories, 32.3g fat, 106.8g carbohydrates, 55g sugars, 58.1g protein

9 months Post-Op - Update and Pics

Today is 9 months since my roux-en-y surgery - so much has changed, and though I still have a way to go, I'm absolutely loving how things are turning out.

I got a hair past 10 pounds down this month, happy to see that up in the double digit range again. I think with being cleared for exercise, I should be able to keep that pace over the next few months. I'm soooo close to hitting the top of my surgeon's goal range for me - they said I should end up at 166-190, and today I'm 194.6. I think 166 is still too high, I want to get down to at least 150, though I'm considering changing that goal to 140. We'll see as I get closer.

I decided to keep with last month's decision to do the photos in my workout clothes - might be able to see a little more of the changes this way.



I'm noticing some wrinkly-ness on my legs, which I don't like - people have had skin removed on their thighs after WLS, but I'm hoping that continued toning will help take care of that. The arms, clearly, are going to need skin removal - there's not enough toning in the world that will get rid of that. But - need to get down to my goal weight and stabilize for a bit before I can consider that (and after we answer the question of whether we can do IVF - if that's a yes, then plastics will be even later down the horizon).


So here's the stats.

	Current	Loss	Total Loss
Chest	42.5	-2	-15.5
Waist	39.5	-2.5	-13.5
Hips	48.5	-.5	-12.75
Thigh	19.75	-1.75	-8.5
Calf	17	0	-5.3
Bicep	15	-.5	-5.25

And can't forget the weight totals:

Beginning weight	338
Weight at surgery	304
Current weight	194.6
Total loss	144

What's For Dinner? Chicken Marsala and Parsnip Gratin

So I have decided that I'm going to take the CAPM exam again - I have to do it quickly, my year runs out on September 12, but I'll see if I can't get that scheduled right after I post this.

Today's dinner is one of those meals that at first glance, one might think - Yikes, cream! The amount actually consumed in my servings is pretty darned small. Will I eat these dishes every night? No - but I'm not afraid of planning for them in my day or week.

I modified the chicken marsala recipe a bit - I don't care for mushrooms so those were left out, and I used only 1 tbsp butter as a result. I had about 1/3 of the sauce (half recipe to begin with), which is how I counted the calories.

The parsnip gratin had proportionately about half the nuts called for, but the rest was sized down to fit my little 4 inch baking dish (4 servings).

My Meals

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• Mini tuna melts: 2.5 oz albacore tuna, 1 tsp light mayo, 1/2 oz cheddar cheese, 5 Wheat Thins toasted chips- multigrain
• 1 cup green salad, 1 radish,  tbsp Ken's Healthy Options Honey French dressing

Snack

• 6 whole cashews

Dinner

• 2.8 oz Chicken Marsala
• 1 serving Parsnip and Hazelnut Gratin with Bacon
• 1/2 cup steamed broccoli
• 1/2 tsp butter

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek yogurt bar - raspberry

 Water - 60 oz

Exercise - Biggest Loser PowerSculpt DVD - Level 2 - 40 minutes, Avg HR 114, Max HR 144, 221 calories burned

Daily Totals: 895 calories, 39.8g fat, 70.0g carbohydrates, 36.2g sugars, 62.8g protein

Failure, Birthdays, and Sadness

It's been a bit of a rough weekend. I drove to Charlotte yesterday morning to take the Certified Associate in Project Management exam (CAPM) from the Project Management Institute. It's not a requirement for my job, but since it's part of what I'm doing, having the formal recognition of those skills would be nice. It's also an introduction to the larger Project Management Professional (PMP) certification, which I would be eligible for with about another 1000 hours of project experience.

I first took the exam last October, shortly after finishing my MBA program (and the project management elective within that). I failed - a complete shock to me, I was deficient in half of the 12 knowledge areas. I put it aside as I had my WLS coming up in November, and I finally just now got around to studying again to retake the exam. You have a total of three chances to pass the exam in the year after which you first register.

Well, I failed again. I was somewhat surprised, in that the practice tests I was taking were of passing marks - not fantastic, but passing. This time I failed five of the knowledge areas. I don't do failure well, and that I had to drive home nearly 2 hours after doing so didn't improve my mood at all.

Part of the issue, I think, is not so much the hows of project management, but the PMI terminology. Do they call this activity "estimate costs" or "estimate budget" ? Both answers might be on a question, but only one is correct.

I only have until September 12 to retake the exam if I choose to do so (for another $150) without having to pay another registration fee to the PMI. So now I need to quickly decide if I just need to make a mass of flash cards and have at it, or to give up on it. I know the fees previously paid are a sunk cost, but it really irks me to think of spending that much without any results. But I'd be even more pissed if I take it a third time and fail again.

I just don't know what to do quite yet.

Today was also a difficult day, in that it is Baby J's 3rd birthday. The realization that she's been gone longer than she was here now has been tough (she was 15 months old when she was moved). I can only imagine how cute she is now, her smile and laugh are still in such sharp focus. The day brings not the wracking, sobbing pain of the early times, but still a deep, heavy, melancholic sadness. Part of me still wants to write that book, but the other part still hurts so bad when I think of the things that went on, that I'm not sure I should put myself through reliving  it all mentally.

I know that the family that (most likely) ended up adopting her live on the other side of town. It is unlikely that we would run into each other at the grocery store - but the Mall, or Home Depot or some other places would still be possible. I can't help myself from scanning the crowds or looking closer when I see a dark, curly haired toddler. The Man says he watches the customers at his store too - though it would not be a logical place for that family to shop based on where they live. I don't think either of us will ever get over it. Whether we'll have a human (rather than feline) family of our own remains to be seen - I'm trying not to be too hopeful, to avoid additional pain, but I'm not completely ready to give up on the idea, and can only hope that my surgeon will allow me to make the reproductive endocrinologist (RE) consult after my 1 year follow-up appointment. I'm hoping to be at the bottom of their goal range by then, so the weight will have all come off.

For now, I work - I study in my new masters program (did I mention? Accepted at Georgia Southern's MS in Applied Economics program), and I try not to think too hard about it all.

I hate failure.

My Meals

Breakfast

• 3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch! Honey Almond Flax
• 1/3 cup whole milk

Lunch

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Snack

• 12 baked Scoops! chips
• 1 serving Chunky Corn and Avocado Salsa

Dinner

• 3 oz NY strip steak
• 1/3 cup green beans
• .5 tsp butter
• salad of 1 cup lettuce, 1/4 cup tomatoes, 3 radishes, 1/2 oz pepitas, 1 tbsp Ken's buttermilk ranch dressing

Water - 40 oz

Daily Totals: 946 calories, 45.8g fat, 88.6g carbohydrates, 29.3g sugars, 54.6g protein

What's For Dinner? Recipe: Pork Medallions with Maple Mustard Glaze

Today was really odd. Yesterday I had been feeling kind of run over and thankfully I woke up feeling better. I got a late start on breakfast - work issues grabbed my attention at first. By the time I went to eat, I was pretty hungry. Usually anything very "solid" as my first meal of the day is a disaster - it feels like rocks landing roughly in my stomach. But leftovers in the fridge sounded really good - so I ended up having half my hamburger patty from the night before, a bit of corn, and rather astoundingly, about 1/2 cup of fettucini alfredo from dinner out with the Man and his step daughter the night before that. Carb overload? Breakfast ended up being a full half of my calories for the day. I did indeed feel the extra carbs, I was a little shaky by the time my lunch break rolled around. I was determined to work of the extra though, so I hit the treadmill downstairs.

Not looking forward to tomorrow - I have to get up fairly early and drive to Charlotte (about 2 hours)  to take the Project Management Institute's CAPM exam (Certified Associate in Project Management). I've been studying like crazy, and my practice tests still aren't really where I want them, though I'm scoring in a range where I'll allegedly pass, as long as I don't totally tank in one subject area.

I'll be heading to bed early tonight to get a good night's sleep.

My Meals

Breakfast

• 2.2 oz hamburger patty
• 1/2 cup corn
• 1/2 cup fettucini alfredo

Lunch

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• 6 almonds 

Dinner

• .75 serving Pork Medallions with Maple Mustard Glaze 
•  approx 1/8 cup rice
• approx 1/4 cup peas
• 1 tsp butter

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry

Exercise - 45 minutes total on treadmill - 41 minutes walking at 2.7 mph 1% incline, 4 minutes jogging 3.7 mph 0% incline. 369 calories burned, Avg heart rate 137, Max heart rate 183.

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 830 calories, 32.1g fat, 84.3g carbohydrates, 37.4g sugars, 47.3g protein (not enough!)

Recipe: Pork Medallions with Maple Mustard Glaze

Maple and mustard are not an entirely unusual flavor combination, but the simple preparation here has no unnecessary extras.

• 6 oz pork tenderloin, sliced into 1 oz pieces
• roughly 1/2 cup all purpose flour seasoned with salt and pepper
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1/4 cup white wine
• 1.5 tbsp country dijon mustard
• 2 tbsp pure maple syrup

Heat oil in large skillet until shimmering. Dredge pork medallions lightly in flour mixture, add to pan. Cook approximately 3 minutes per side until cooked through. Remove from pan.

Deglaze pan with wine, letting it almost completely evaporate. Add mustard and maple syrup, whisking to combine. Cook until thickened into glaze consistency. Serve over medallions.

Nutritional information: 226 calories, 7.2g fat, 16.4g carbohydrates, 11.9g sugars, 16.1g protein

Cleared for Exercise!

Woohoo! Had my 2 week post-op follow-up with the surgeon today, and he was pleased with how things looked to be healing. I told him the oozing had dropped considerably, though there was still some. He said there was really just a pinhole opening left, and he actually snipped the external stitch (there was also one internally) that hadn't dissolved yet. I go back in a month for hopefully a final follow-up. I learned something interesting, in that most fistulas dig through tissue very close to the surface of the skin, so usually a surgeon will just split it open, clean it out, pack it, and stitch it up. Mine was fairly rare in that it dug deep internally, and actually went through muscle tissue - which of course they didn't want to just randomly slice through my gluteus maximus which would cause some significant recover issues. So they used the internal plug that helps absorb any left over infection. He did warn that the plug is not as reliable at totally clearing a problem as the full incision to open it up, but given it's position it was the best choice. So I'll go back in a month and hopefully all will be clear. I have a repeat CT scan early in September, and hopefully that odd looking lymph node they found in the ER before my very first treatment of the abscess back in May will scan normally.

So - he was happy enough with my healing that he cleared me to start exercising again! Yay! (Who'd have thought I'd say that this time last year?)

Today and tomorrow the Man's former step-daughter is visiting, we went out to dinner at the hibachi place across the street. I ate my protein, and about 1/3 a cup of the fried rice. I was a good girl!

My Meals: 

Breakfast 

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• Salad made with 2.6 oz roast chicken breast, 1.5 cups romaine lettuce, 1 roma tomato, 2 radishes, 1/2 oz pepitas, 1 tbsp Ken's Healthy Options Peppercorn and Parmesan dressing

Dinner

• 3 oz filet mignon
• 1/3 cup fried rice

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 732 calories, 27.2g fat, 53.4g carbohydrates, 27.9g sugars, 70.1g protein

Cooking with Protein Additives

One of the things I knew I would miss in post-op eating was some of my favorite soup recipes. Even if they have some meat in them, the protein levels for a meal are pretty small. I'd been looking for some sort of neutral protein powder I might be able to add to them, and the product Any Whey from Optimum Nutrition was suggested. It claims to be formulated for cooking - use in baked goods or in soups, sauces, etc.

Tonight I gave it a try - I made a chicken soup, which on it's own had 18g of protein, but with a scoop of Any Whey added to my serving, it gave me an additional 17g. Had this been my potato leek soup or some other veggie based soup, that would be the bulk of the protein not derived from chicken or beef stock.

My first mistake was trying to stir it into the soup after I'd put it in my bowl - it clumped horribly. So next I took about 1/4 cup of water and dissolved it that way, then poured it into a fresh bowl of the soup. It made the broth a bit more opaque, but did seem to mix in well.

The product itself has a slight vanilla scent to it, and I could taste a slight vanilla/milky flavor, but that became less pronounced as I ate.

Verdict? It's OK. I won't be adding it to everything I make - but to fortify a veggie-based soup? Probably.

The rest of my day was a little screwy - I woke up about 2 am with a pinched nerve or something in my shoulder - terrible pain, couldn't raise it up much. Took some pain killers and ended up sleeping until about 9:45 am. Getting up late always tends to screw up my eating plan.  I had a bit of left overs - but super solid food tends to be hard on my stomach first thing in the morning.

My Meals: 

Breakfast

• 1/2 serving meatballs in red wine gravy
• 1/2 serving mini cauliflower cheese gratin

Lunch

• Dannon Light & Fit caramel delight

Dinner

• 1 serving chicken, noodle, and veggie soup 
• 1 scoop Any Whey protein powder
• 4 small slices toasted asiago filone with butter

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt Bar  - raspberry

Water - 40 oz

Daily Totals: 868 calories, 28.7g fat, 88.4g carbohydrates, 30g sugars, 63.9g protein

What's For Dinner? Shrimp with Cashews

I spent some time this morning looking for another shrimp recipe - and came across Cashew Shrimp with water chestnuts. I've had cashew chicken from chinese take out, but never shrimp. This recipe used a ton of oil to flash fry things, so I knew I'd need to change it up some. My version is linked from my dinner meal.

Overall, I'll call it a great success!

My Meals: 

Breakfast: 

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• mini tuna melts: 2.5 oz albacore tuna, 1 tsp light mayo, 5 Wheat Thins toasted chips - multigrain, 1/2 oz shredded cheddar cheese

Snack 

• 8 low-sodium almonds
• 2 small slices asiago filone w/1 tsp butter

Dinner

• 1 serving Shrimp with Cashews 
• 4 butter lettuce leaves
• 1 tbsp Hoisin Sauce

Water: 60 oz

Daily Totals: 839 calories, 37.1g fat, 72.2g carbohydrates, 23.5g sugars, 59.6g protein

Recipe: Shrimp with Cashews

Adapted from a Food Network recipe, this dish works well as filling for lettuce wraps, saving the high-glycemic calories of a more traditional white rice accompaniment.

• 5 oz peeled and deveined shrimp - fresh or frozen, patted dry
• 2 medium carrots, diced
• 1 stalk celery, peeled of outer fibers, diced
• 1/2 cup diced water chestnuts
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 2 oz cashew halves
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 tbsp oyster sauce
• 1 tsp low-sodium soy sauce
• 1 tsp toasted sesame oil
• 1/2 tbsp corn starch
• salt and pepper
• 2 tsp vegetable oil

Heat 1 tsp oil in non-stick skillet over medium high heat. Saute cashews for about 30 seconds, stirring constantly. Remove from pan and drain on paper towels.

Add carrots, celery, water chestnuts and peas to pan, saute 2-3 minutes until peas are warmed through. Set vegetables aside in a small bowl.

Add remaining 1 tsp vegetable oil to pan, which will heat quickly. Add shrimp, sprinkle with salt and pepper, saute until shrimp just turn pink, then remove from pan.

Chop shrimp into approx 1/2 inch pieces (4 pieces per shrimp for 31-40ct size).

Combine broth, oyster sauce, sesame oil, soy sauce, and corn starch in small bowl stirring until corn starch is dissolved. Add to pan - liquid will evaporate and thicken quickly. Add vegetables, cashews, and chopped shrimp back to pan, stirring just long enough to combine with sauce.

Serve with butter or bibb lettuce leaves, top with hoisin sauce as desired.

Makes 2 servings.

Nutritional Information (via MyFoodDiary.com): 357 calories, 17.3g fat, 28.6g carbohydrates, 5.8g dietary fiber, 9.3g sugars, 23.8g protein

Bread - How You Tempt Me

Bread - I loved it. A good artisan loaf, real butter, and happiness. Pre-op, I could really put it away - room temp, warmed, french toast, you name it, I loved it. Sourdough in particular, but nearly anything - just no fruit-type inclusions (no raisins, cranberries, etc).

Post-op, bread is something I can have only in very limited quantities for a few reasons: it's generally got a high glycemic index and high in calories for it's size, so it's not the best nutritional choice for me, and bread when eaten tends to ball up and stick in your stomach - something that's not pleasant with my current stomach configuration.

But every now and again, I can have just a little bit - luckily the physical limitations I have place a real damper on any excessive cravings.

The Man, if I haven't mentioned, bakes for a regional super market chain called Harris Teeter. He rarely brings any of his product home anymore, but today he showed up with an asiago cheese filone (larger than a baguette, but not a full sized loaf), and a tub of Kerrygold irish butter. They had been sampling that at the store today, and he'd nommed on some for lunch, and decided he wanted more. Oh man. He'd sliced it at the shop into 24 little pieces - I had the very heel end and one slice. The Kerrygold butter is extra rich compared to US made butter products, and is just delicious - but I certainly didn't need much more than the lightest of spread.

The rest of the dinner was a bit lazy - the last batch of the meatballs in red wine gravy out of the freezer, a bit of penne, and for me a small salad.

My Meals

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• 3 oz roast chicken breast
• 1/4 cup smashed red potatoes
• 1/2 cup french cut green beans
• 2 tbsp chicken gravy

Snack

• 1 whole carrot

Dinner

• 1 serving meatballs in red wine gravy
• 1/4 cup Barilla Pasta Plus - penne
• 1.5 slices asiago filone
• 1 tsp Kerrygold butter

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 816 calories, 34.8g fat, 59g carbohydrates, 16.3g sugars, 61.1g protein 

Double Takes and Ego Strokes

So my sort-of boss got into town today - I used to actually report to him, but with a reorganization that was done in the spring, I still do the same work, but technically I have a different manager. But we still call him "boss". Anyway, Dean was coming into town and I hadn't seen him since we met up for lunch in October when I was driving back from Rhinebeck, NY and stopped for lunch with him and a couple coworkers in Newark, DE.

He'd had a preview of what I look like now since I've sent him a few update pictures, but no one else that works in the large office complex over in Greensboro had. I hadn't seen many of these people in 2 or 3 years. Of course lots of people have come and go over that time, the line of business I worked in employs about 200 people. But plenty have been there for years and will continue to be there for years to come.

I admit I was quite tickled when I walked down the main hallways and people moving about in the half-height cube areas would stop, then lean forward or back to get a good look at me, and then shriek. Hearing "you look fabulous!" over and over never got old! Coming right on the heels of the Old Navy victory and onederland, it's been a pretty awesome week so far.

Dean, my team mate Kendra, and I all went out to lunch. I swear, I'll never learn that restaurants think a main dish salad has to be bigger than a turkey platter. This sucker was huge - and if I'd had the capacity to keep it until later in the afternoon to bring home, I could have eaten off of it for at least 3 meals, if not 4. It was an Asian chicken salad - the vinaigrette was fairly oil-heavy, so I'm going to have to count some extra calories for that - it slipped my mind to ask for it on the side.

Back at the office we spent some time catching up with the people who still work there - technically they're our "customers" now - as my group develops in-house applications that help improve their work flow. Not a lot of work got done for the afternoon, but it was very nice to have a little relief from the isolation that working from home can bring. Not that I want that 40-mile one-way commute every day again, but a single afternoon was enjoyable.

I'm trying to mix up my breakfast choices a bit - yesterday and today I had some Kashi Go Lean Crunch! cereal - something that was a bit too "heavy" a few months ago on a morning stomach, but is going over better now. I think the next box will be just the plain Go Lean! A little lighter on calories since it doesn't have nuts/clusters in it.

Oh - and a new 12-inch cast iron skillet makes a fantastic meat mallet. Really.

My Meals 

Breakfast

• 3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch! Honey Almond Flax cereal
• 1/3 cup whole milk

Lunch

• 1/3 of an Asian Chicken salad - lettuce, green onions, tomato, won-ton strips, grilled chicken - approx 3 ounces, with a sesame ginger vinaigrette

Dinner

• 2.75 oz serving Pork Medallions with Chili Maple Sauce
• 1/2 cup steamed green beans
• 1/3 cup jasmine rice
• 1 tsp butter

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry

Water  - 60oz

Daily Totals: 909 calories, 34.8g fat, 92.2g carbohydrates, 35.4g sugars, 67.7g protein

ONEDERLAND!

It's here - one of the major milestones in any WLS post-op's life - losing enough weight to dip below 200 pounds into the one-hundreds. That, my friends, was this morning.

While I still have ~50 pounds to go, this is huge for me. Combined with the Old Navy victory of yesterday, it's starting to be a very good week!!

My Meals

Breakfast

• 3/4 cup Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal
• 1/3 cup whole milk

Lunch

•  1.5 oz rotisserie chicken salad
• 5 Wheat Thins Toasted Chips - multigrain
• salad of romaine, 2 radishes, 1 roma tomato, 1/3 oz pepitas, 1 tbsp Ken's Healthy Options Parmesan and Peppercorn dressing

Snack

• Sargento Light String Cheese

Dinner

• 3 oz roast chicken breast
• 2 tbsp pan gravy
• 1/3 cup smashed red potatoes (made with a little butter and cream)
• 1/3 cup peas
• 1 tsp butter

Water - 50oz

Daily Totals: 828 calories, 37.5g fat, 71.8g carbohydrates, 23g sugars, 57.5g protein

Adventures and Disbelief in Shopping

I've been avoiding looking for new jeans because I had been trouble finding anything that really fit. At my heaviest, I wore "fat Mom jeans" - elastic, high-waisted pull on pants, just happened to be made in denim. I'd been hanging onto my last pair of size 16 of those, but they were really starting to hang off my ass. About 4 months post-op I had tried on some regular "zip jeans" at Catherine's (plus size store, not quite as "youthful" as Lane Bryant), and failed horribly to find something that even approached wearable.

Granted, I've now lost quite a bit more, but when I mentioned to some friends on Twitter that I was going to head to the mall today to find some jeans at Lane Bryant, one of them strongly urged me to look at Old Navy instead. I said no, that I wasn't small enough to do that yet, that I anticipated I'd need a 16/18 or so. She insisted that (at least at her nearby store) that they carried sizes like that regularly, and they had lots of fit options. I was skeptical, but decided to check them out first at the mall (after making sure our mall actually had one).

I walked in and felt like a complete imposter - a dodged a clerk who offered to help me find choose a size/fit of jeans, and looked around timidly. 

They have 3 basic fit options: fairly straight, thinner waist with larger thighs, and a more rounded figure. I forget which of the last two corresponded with the one I chose at first (Flirt is what they called it), but I tried on the 18 - and while it zipped, I had a big gap at the small of my back, and they weren't any better about all the extra material under my butt than my current jeans. I tried the 16, but it was too small. I put the 18s back on and stepped out of my fitting room to ask the opinion of the "fitologist" Deena - who was just perky and helping anyone who looked unsure of their choices. She took one look at that gap and got on the radio and asked one of the floor people to bring back the "sweetheart" fit in a 16 and 18.

I took those back to my dressing room, and for shits and giggles decided to try the 16 first. Holy CRAP, it fit! A little room under the butt, but not hanging at all. The waistline was lower than my normal by what feels like about 4 inches, but that's the style today in non-"mom jeans".

I cried.

I know I'd bought my graduation dresses at Dillards - a "normal" store, but I hadn't imagined shopping somewhere like Old Navy, that didn't have a special "fat girl" section, just stuff on the rack all mixed together.

The kicker? $19 jeans! I was beaming as I left the place. With still about 50 pounds to go, it seems like a goal of size 8 (maybe 6 after plastics) really isn't that outrageous. I'd settle for a 10, but single digits would make me crazy happy.

I spent yesterday without any pain killers, and the same today. I was a tad sore after my shopping expedition; I'd done grocery shopping first, came back and unloaded, then went out to the mall, then over to Bed Bath & Beyond for a cast iron skillet, and finally to the specialty grocer that carries my frozen greek yogurt bars. 

I'm going to start work in my desk chair and see if I can last all day - I am much more productive there than in the recliner, but I am still very thankful that I have that option if necessary.

My Meals: 

Breakfast

•  Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt

Lunch

• 2 oz prepared rotisserie chicken salad (chicken, mayo, celery, onion)
• 6 Wheat Thins Toasted Crackers - multi grain

Snack

• Sargento Light String Cheese

Dinner

• 2.4 oz Sliced Steak with Roasted-Corn Salsa 
• 1/2 cup steamed broccoli
• .5 tsp butter

Planned Snack: Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 602 calories, 22.3g fat, 54.2g carbohydrates, 27g sugars, 48.9g protein

I'm seriously under on protein, and low on calories as well. I'll definitely have the yogurt bar before bed, but I don't think there's much more I can do today. I've had a few too many 50g protein days, so I really need to watch that - I don't want to start losing my hair and of course as I get back into exercising again, I really need it to not lose muscle. 

The Amazing Spacial Properties of Salad

So we all know post-op WLS patients can't each much at one time. Our stomachs are the size of an egg, and while they expand a little bit when we eat, it's nothing on the scale of what happens in a normal stomach (or even more in what happens in an obese person's stomach).

That said, I still constantly boggle at the apparent amount of salad I can eat at one sitting. Dinner tonight was a 2.6 oz hamburger patty and 1/2 cup of left over herbed corn couscous. I'm full, I can feel it. But for lunch - I ate this:

Well - apparently I can't show you because the photo file is corrupt (really?).

But - it was 1.5 cups of romaine, half a cup of red cabbage, a carrot, 1/3 oz of slivered almonds, and 2.6 oz of left over sirloin steak dressed with Olde Cape Cod Sesame Ginger non-fat dressing. It looks huge - fills a large soup bowl.

So how can I manage that when I eat so little of anything else?

The Man and I can only come up with the idea that salad "crunches down" into a smaller volume when eaten, and other more solid foods just get pulled apart and tenderized when you chew.

It's a mystery.

My Meals

Breakfast

•  Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento light string cheese

Lunch

• Salad composed of: 
• 1.5 cups romaine
• 1/2 cup red cabbage
• 1 carrot - sliced
• 1/3 oz slivered almonds
• 2.6 oz top sirloin
• 2 tbsp Olde Cape Cod Toasted Sesame Soy & Ginger Non-Fat dressing

Dinner

• 2.6 oz hamburger patty with red onions
• 1/2 cup left over herbed corn couscous from last night
• 1 tbsp Sweet Baby Ray's bbq sauce

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 871 calories, 32.4g fat, 91.9g carbohydrates, 32.9g sugars, 59.2g protein

What's For Dinner? Bacon-Wrapped Turkey and Herbed Corn Couscous

Day two of back to work, and I decided to just start in the recliner. I didn't have to take any pain meds in the middle of the night, which was good, though the daytime ones are still making me feel fairly disconnected/dizzy.

I am getting my water back up to where it should be, which is good. Very tired though, so I'm likely to have an early bath and then bed.

Oh - I started to make lunch today - flipped on our counter-top grill and went out to get the mail while it heated up. I came back in and there were no lights on the front - then I noticed there wasn't a clock showing on the microwave, and I opened the fridge and the light was out. Great, seems like a fuse flipped. I went down to the box and didn't see anything wrong, so I switched and used the stove to cook my hamburger, and gave up on the idea of some left over broccoli to accompany it since I couldn't nuke it to reheat it. The Man got home about 90 minutes later and found the breaker that had tripped and got us back up and running. At least now I know which one that circuit is on, so I don't fear resetting the wrong things. 

I'm out of the frozen greek yogurt bars - I may have another regular yogurt before bed to get up to 60g protein, but I'm not feeling like it at the moment.

My Meals

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento light string cheese

Lunch

• 2.7 oz hamburger patty with minced red onion
• 1 tbsp Sweet Baby Ray's bbq sauce

Dinner

• 2.5 oz turkey breast filet wrapped in 1 slice bacon
• 1/3 cup Herbed Corn Couscous

 Water - 60oz

Daily Totals: 670 calories, 27.7g fat, 49.4g carbohydrates, 18.5g sugars, 55.8g protein

Post-Op Fistulotomy Day One

I planned to take today off work to recover from surgery yesterday and I'm glad I did. I'm primarily just tired for an overall "how do you feel", though of course there is pain at the surgical site. Hydrocodone is handling that pretty well, but of course that makes me a bit fuzzy.

This afternoon I noticed I felt a bit warm, and my legs were actually feeling a sweaty, so I took my temp and I'm running a low fever of 100.0F. The surgeon said to call in 24/7 if it got over 101F, so we'll be watching that closely through the night.

I've not gotten nearly enough water today - which I'm sure isn't helping, but I'm working on it.

Unless things really tank with the fever, I will be getting up and working tomorrow morning - thankfully I have the refuge of the laptop and recliner should my desk chair prove to be too uncomfortable.

My Meals

Breakfast 

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• mini tuna melts: 2.5 oz albacore tuna, .5 oz cheddar, 1 tsp mayo, 6 wheat thins toasted chips - multigrain

Dinner

• 2.5oz teriyaki beef (sauce made of mirin, soy, beef broth, honey, ginger, and garlic)
• 1/2 cup steamed snow peas
• 1/4 cup jasmine rice

Water - 30 oz

Daily Totals: 592 calories, 24g fat, 40.2g carbohydrates, 13.7g sugars, 54.3g protein

Surgery Day

Today was the day - the follow-up surgery to why my incision from the original rectal abscess surgery wasn't healing. The doctor suspected I might have a fistula (internal pocket of infection) that had connected to the incision site and was draining from there. I was getting a little worried, as after I saw him and the surgery was scheduled (for 4 weeks later), that the oozing had let up a bit. I had visions of getting put under anesthesia and being brought right back out and having him say that there was nothing more he could do.

I was told to report at 10:15, and we got there right on time. Nearly 2 hours of sit in a consult room and have various people come in and out and ask for information, take vitals, etc. Finally got taken back to the pre-op area about 11:30, waited for more visits - anesthesia, my surgeon, and then got my IV started, etc. It was nearly 1pm by the time I was actually wheeled back to the OR.

I next became aware of time and place at about 2:45 in the first recovery room. Pain wasn't too bad, maxed out at about a 6 before they got the Dilaudid on board. Surgeon stopped by very briefly and said he did find a fistula, that it was very deep behind muscle, so they didn't want to cut through that, and put a plug in it that will eventually dissolve.

After about an hour in initial recovery, they moved me into post-op monitoring, gave me peanut butter crackers to eat so I could take a Percocet and allowed the Man to come back. He told me the surgeon told him the fistula was 5 inches long/deep and contained a very nasty infection. Lovely! I was given IV Cipro and Flagyl, and sent home with prescriptions for an oral round of both antibiotics (plus some hydrocodone for pain management).

Finally, at a little before 5pm, I was discharged. We dropped the prescriptions off at the pharmacy on the way home, and the Man went out a little while later to pick them up.

I'm definitely feeling spacy as is usually the case on Percocet/hydrocodone, and I can tell I'll definitely be hurting for a few days. I scheduled tomorrow off as well, and again I'm thankful I work from home, so if I'm not up to par on Wednesday I can work from my recliner if needed.

I truly hope that this finally ends the saga of the never ending oozing ass incision. I just want to be able to sit normally, exercise without worrying about angering it, and stop having my clothes stick to me. Not  much to ask, is it?

What's For Dinner? Beef with Carrot and Avocado Salad

Today was "get stuff done" day. I needed to go pick up the flea treatment for the cats at the vet, went grocery shopping, did the vacuuming, cleaned the bathroom, the kitchen and dining room, and sorted some of my yarn in the basket by my recliner in the living room. After all that, I took the rest of the day for me - and my Olympic knitting project.

One thing I've noticed as I've been reporting my meals here, is that my eyes are still definitely bigger than my stomach. I did eat all the steak on my plate, but maybe a third of the salad, and half of the rice. The  amounts recorded are what I ate, rather than what is pictured. I honestly think at this point, a three-item dinner is still too much for me. I don't really need a "starch", so I purposefully leave most of that for last, but I rarely finish both that and my vegetables when I do serve myself three items.

Tomorrow may be interesting, I'm supposed to have a "light dinner" since it's the night before surgery - even though I'm sure whatever I could eat would be classified as light, I think I'll probably switch up what I eat a bit and having my yogurt and cheese for dinner.

My Meals

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• Salad made of: 
• 2.5 oz left over chicken breast from the scalloppine (no red sauce)
• 1.5 cups romaine
• 1 roma tomato
• 2 radishes
• 1.5 tbsp Ken's Buttermilk Ranch dressing

Snack

• Sargento Light String Cheese

Dinner

• 3 oz sirloin steak
• 1/4 cup serving Carrot Avocado Salad
• 1/6 cup red rice
• .5 tsp butter

Water - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 813 calories, 42.3g fat, 43.2g carbohydrates, 16.8g sugars, 68.4g protein

What's For Dinner? Chicken Scalloppine

Ugh, today was a rough morning. I was up about 3am with a little GI distress - didn't sleep much afterward - and the Man woke up about 3:30 - got out of bed, then turned around and tried to make it back to the bed before falling into a seizure (he's epileptic - though waking espisodes are incredibly rare, usually it's in his sleep or right as he "pops up"). He only made it half on the bed, so I did my best to keep hold of his arm so he didn't slip down and bang his head on the floor. He crawled back in as soon as it was over and fell right back asleep - until his alarm went off at 4am, and he finally got up for work about 4:30am.

He left just before 5, and I still wasn't back to sleep. I tried having a frozen greek yogurt bar and then turn on one of my "fall asleep to it" videos, but nothing worked. I ended up getting up by 5:30 and then decided to get my workout in before I started work, since I had time - me and the treadmill at 6:00 am! The workout felt good, but it made me "hungry" most of the day.

Hunger for me is different now than it used to be - I don't get that tummy grumbling, oh-my-god-I-could-eat-a-horse type hunger, instead it's kind of an "empty" feeling. That said, I worked hard not to over-consume simply because I got up early. I came in fine in protein, but a bit under in calories - might have another frozen bar later, but haven't decided yet.

My Meals

Breakfast

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• Mini tuna melts made of: 
• 3 oz albacore tuna (water pack)
• 2 tsp mayonnaise
• 1 oz shredded cheddar cheese
• 6 Wheat Thins Toasted Chips - Multigrain

Snack

• Salad of 1 cup romaine, 2 radishes, .25 oz pepitas, 2 tbsp Ken's Healthy Options Honey French

Dinner

• 2.25 oz Chicken Scalloppine
• .5 oz parmesan cheese
• 1/3 cup thin spaghetti
• 1/2 cup steamed broccoli

Exercise: Treadmill - 41 mins walking 2.6mph, 4 mins jogging 3.5mph, both 1% incline, 357 calories burned

Water  - 60 oz

Daily Totals: 643 calories, 28g fat, 34.8g carbohydrates, 12.5g sugars, 63.1g protein

What's For Dinner? Pork with Cauliflower Puree

When I first read about cauliflower puree it was someone raving about how much it tasted just like mashed potatoes. While it's good, if someone thinks it tastes just like mashed potatoes they have no taste buds, seriously. Making it is simple - steam or boil cauliflower, throw half of it in the food processor with a minimal amount of cooking liquid or broth and process until smooth. Add the remaining cauliflower, a bit of butter, salt, pepper, and a tablespoon or two of parmesan cheese if desired. Pulse a couple times so that the second batch of cauliflower is still a tiny bit chunky. That's it.

The pork tonight was  a repeat - the tenderloin with pomegranate sauce (hey - coming up with a new recipe every night is difficult!).

I upped my workout today - went to level 3 on the PowerSculpt DVD - lots of push-up like work, which is tough. My upper body strength was never great, so it's definitely wobbly arms during those sections.

My Meals

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• 2.4 oz left over tandoori chicken
• 1/2 cup green beans
• Salad: 1 cup romaine, 2 radishes, .25 oz pepitas, 1.5 tbsp Ken's Healthy Options Honey French dressing

Snack

• 14 low-sodium whole almonds
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Dinner

• 1 serving Pork Tenderloin with Pomegranate Sauce 
• 1/2 cup cauliflower puree (as above)

Planned Snack

• Yasso Frozen Greek Yogurt bar - raspberry

Exercise

• Biggest Loser PowerSculpt DVD Level 3 - 50 minutes, 309 calories burned

Water -  60 oz

Daily Totals: 837 calories, 38.1g fat, 64.5g carbohydrates, 44.2g sugars, 64.1g protein

What's For Dinner? Meatballs in Red Wine Gravy

I'll admit it - I'm in love with my FoodSaver. We used it quite a bit pre-op for portioning out bulk meat purchases, and the occasional lasagna type left athat wouldn't be eaten within a couple days. But it's truly been a lifesaver post-op. I have 3 portions of pork tenderloin frozen in the foodsaver bags - they come two to a package, and just half of one is enough for my little portion and a good one for the Man. I also had two dinners worth of tonight's meal - Meatballs in Red Wine Gravy left over from the first time I made it. I love that I could just take the bag out of the freezer and plop it into a pot of boiling water and let the meatballs and sauce heat without drying out at all!

I got my pre-op call from the hospital today - luckily they don't want to see me for any pre-op testing, and it seems so far that I'll get to avoid having to self administer an enema before hand (please oh please). I'll get a call on Friday for my "report in" time - though they're estimating my procedure to start at 12:40pm.

Not much else in news today - did another treadmill working, and getting so tantilizing close to dropping below the 200lb mark - I'll definitely report when I do.

My Meals 

Breakfast

• Dannon Light & Fit raspberry yogurt
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Lunch

• 1.8 oz left over tandoori chicken from last night
• 1/3 cup red rice
• 1/3 cup green beans
• 1 tsp butter

Snack

• 14 lightly salted almonds
• Sargento Light String Cheese

Dinner

• 1 serving Meatballs in Red Wine Gravy 
• 1/3 cup whole wheat rotini
• 1/2 cup steamed green beans
• .5 tsp butter

Planned Snack

• Yasso Greek Frozen Yogurt Bar - raspberry

Exercise - Treadmill: 41.5 mins walking 2.5mph, 3.5 mins jogging 3.5 mph, both at 1% incline, total miles 1.93, Avg HR 124, Max HR 177, 282 calories burned




Water - 70 oz (a record!)

Daily Totals: 878 calories, 34.1g fat, 79.6g carbohydrates, 26.3g sugars, 63g protein